Early in April, I met my longtime friends for a vacation in Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks. It’s a lovely time of year to visit as tourist numbers are lower than summer, but the downside is that some of the trails and roads, including Tioga Pass and the road to Glacier Point were closed (seasonal weather closures).
I hadn’t been to the area since I was a child. We entered the park, and the famous tunnel view is a grand sight to behold. Yosemite Valley area is splendid. I felt like I was in a long narrow amphitheater surrounded by these awe-inspiring views and granite cliffs. We had reserved rooms at Yosemite Valley Lodge, and I really enjoyed staying in the national park without having to spend the time driving in each day. It didn’t hurt that the Yosemite Falls was right behind our room. All the waterfalls were at high water levels due to the plentiful rainfall California had received that winter. At night I fell asleep to the sounds of rushing water.
Also, I enjoyed getting up in the early morning to take a walk around Cook’s Valley before cars lined the roads. The day was crisp and there were few people about and lots of water in the fields, so I was able to get some lovely reflective shots of the falls.
The weather was beautiful the first full day we were there, and we enjoyed the trail to Mirror Lake after we had let our fellow shuttle bus passengers move on past us. And that is the downside of Yosemite Valley: like Yellowstone there are tons of tourists, but unlike Yellowstone, at least at this time of year, they are concentrated into the much smaller area of the Yosemite Valley. This may not bother others as much, but now having acclimated to the less traveled terrain of my Oregon locale, it is a difficult adjustment having my nature intruded upon by so many other humans. I know I have to share. : ) It is a lovely trail that accompanies Tenaya Creek up to Mirror Lake, which is pretty small, although it used to be larger before a dam was built.
The next day I took a longer hike around the Yosemite Valley Floor Loop. While we did less than half the full 20 miles, it is an flat easy walk that gives some stunning views of El Capitan, Sentinel Falls, Cathedral Rocks and Merced River.
El Capitan
Sentineal Falls
Cathedral Rock and Spires
After visiting Yosemite National Park, my friends and I drove south to spend a couple of days at Sequoia National Park and one day it was even snowing. In the future, I would wait until later in the year to visit this park as some of the trails were snow-bound. But it was beautiful to see the majestic giant sequoias, including General Sherman, the largest tree by volume in the world, and also General Grant. These trees are among the oldest living organisms alive on Earth, with General Sherman estimated to be between 2300-2700 years old.
All in all it was a vacation filled with wonder and awe at the beautiful world we live in, and I loved being able to share the experience with my friends. And I also hope to explore more of these two national parks in the future!
My niece and I drove straight to Multnomah Falls in the morning to try to grab a parking spot before the crowds -Success! However, the trail was closed due to icy conditions. We were able to view this most stunning falls from the bottom. This is the highest falls in Oregon and 2nd highest in the nation, totaling 611 feet in two steps.
Multnomah Falls
Multnomah Falls, painterly
We next headed to Latourell Falls. I loved the basalt rocks that surround the falls (lower). The hike is lovely and fairly easy and will take you to the upper Falls and then loops back to the parking lot, passing some lovely views along the way. The best view of the (lower) Latourell Falls is accessed from a path that leads to the base of the falls. Beware if you are photographing, there is a lot of spray. Keep your lens away from the direction of the spray until you are ready to shoot and bring a wipe. Once the water level has receded, the spray level is probably not as bad.
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After the hike, we had a delicious lunch at Edgefields in Troutdale and then went back to Triple Falls for another short hike. However, after about 1/2 mile up the Triple Falls Trail, perhaps as a result of the meal, we proved to have less motivation to deal with the steep, snowy and narrow trail and decided to leave that hike for another day.
To see more of my photography, please visit me at http://belindagrebphotography.com/ or one of my other sites!
Bridge Over Sky – Along the Columbia River Gorge Scenic Highway
This has been a pretty bleak winter on all fronts with a lot of cold, rain and anxiety. But on the days where the weather has permitted I have tried to get out to take advantage of the beauty the winter season can bring to our natural areas and to get away from the news.
Icicles Triptych w
I have recently been reading Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring – and this book should be a must read for anyone who would like to visualize the world without the regulations that so many have fought for over the last 60 years and that are now being threatened. These regulations not only protect our environment and wildlife but us as well (higher-ups on the food chain but still subject to it).
Winter Lamb
Call your congressmen and tell them you do not approve of repealing regulations that have protected our wildlife, environment and you and your family in exchange for corporate profits. Our future, your child’s future should not be for sale. This site (back online 3/6/17) will help you track environment subjects –Click Here
All of these landscapes or nature images in the slideshow below (except the last composite image) are from areas that are our public lands – either federal or state. We start off from a heron landing in the marsh at Fern Ridge Wildlife Area (state); Willamette National Forest in Oregon (federal) including Carmen Reservoir and Fish Lake, then to the Neptune Scenic Area and Cook’s Chasm along the Oregon Coast above Florence (state). The last image is a composite of some woods and deer photographs I had and is entitled “This is Our Home” and meant to be a reminder that we share the planet with wildlife and flora, and I would hope we can learn to respect that.
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My next post will show some images from the Columbia Gorge Scenic Area up near Portland, Oregon.
Also, I have put together a sampler of some of my photography over the last few years.
I had a wonderful short camping trip to Mount Rainier at the end of July. The wildflowers were in bloom and the weather was amazing. The first day we arrived in the afternoon and started a hike about 3:30pm. We meant to do the 5 mile Lakes Trail hike, but we missed the turnoff for the loop and continued instead on Mazama Ridge and then Skyline Trails. In the end, it was a wonderful mistake as even though it added an additional two or so miles to the hike, the scenery was amazing. The second day’s hike turned out to be almost 11 miles and although we were rewarded by the alpine meadows of Summerland, we all agreed the first day’s hike was our favorite as the hike was long, uphill, and grueling considering that I was carrying camera equipment. The first hike was more interspersed with beautiful views.
God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools. – John Muir
Lately my heart and mind have been in Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, a wild gem of Oregon taken over in early January by armed militia. This takeover was in response to the arrest of Hammonds, two ranchers who intentionally set two fires that spread to public lands endangering lives, (in 2001 of the young relative who was instructed to set the fire and in 2006 of firefighters who were in the area). Bundy and his followers purported to take over the refuge for the purpose of returning the land to the people – a ridiculous proposition since the land already belongs to the people, as in “We, the People”. They didn’t want the government to manage the land and instead unilaterally decided that they would be the ones to do so. Malheur NWR is one of numerous public lands that have been set aside by our forefathers who wisely saw the need to preserve natural habitat and wildlife for future generations. I suspect most of us consider this a blessing, but sadly there are those that consider it an overreach of the government.
In 1864, Abraham Lincoln ceded land around Yosemite Valley and Mariposa Grove Area to California for use as a state park in response to Galen Clark and Senator John Conness who argued that with the increased tourism since since the mid 1850s, unregulated commercial interests were becoming a threat to the area. This would set a precedent for establishing Yellowstone as the nation’s first national park, Meanwhile after 11 years of trying, Ferdinand Hayden, was finally able to put together a geological survey in to the Yellowstone Area. This resulted in an influential report, that included pictures by William Henry Jackson and paintings by Thomas Moran, and in 1872, Ulysses Grant signed the Act of Dedication which made Yellowstone a national park. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowstone_National_Park)
There was opposition at that time to the establishment of the park. Local settlers in Montana worried that the economy would suffer from federal prohibitions and so numerous bills were put forth to reduce land-use restrictions. There were those that wanted the land for logging, mining, and hunting. Sound familiar?
The entities in charge of public lands need to balance the needs of interested parties while protecting the land. While hunting is not allowed in National Parks and many Wildlife Refuges, on other public lands, hunting is allowed. There are guidelines for the logging that takes place on public lands, and there will always be controversy about whether these guidelines are too strict or not strict enough. Ranchers were allowed to continue grazing their cattle on public lands and charged a nominal fee. Grazing fees per AUM (animal unit per month) was raised in 2015 to $1.69. Of course fees for grazing on private or state lands is much higher. In Oregon, the state fee is $5.60 in 2016. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grazing_fee) How many of you can feed your pet dog or cat for that $1.69 for even a couple of days?
In addition, as opposed to owning the land, the ranchers are not responsible for the financial cost of purchasing the land, maintaining or paying taxes on it like other property owners would be. But apparently some of these occupiers, like Cliven Bundy, feel that they should not have to pay any fees at all, and for years he has gotten away from this, refusing to pay the fees or remove his cattle from federal lands. After a court order allowed officials to remove his livestock from federal lands in 2014, armed supporters advanced on collectors resulting in a standoff. The cattle were not removed by BLM due to their concern that employees might be harmed or shot. So now Cliven Bundy owes the people over $1 million dollars and continues to graze his cattle on public lands. If our society continues to give in to this type of behavior, we will have anarchy.
There’s certainly a right to question how the land is being managed, but trying to bully your opinion across via intimidation and guns is not it. The government entities that regulate these lands are not above reproach, but they are trying to balance the rights of the community along with the special interests of ranchers along with the wildlife advocates and environmentalists. How can this be an easy task? And of course the administrators are also going to be have their own personal opinions and beliefs. But dissenters should take any issue with that management to our legal system or the media.
Malheur National Wildlife Refuge was established in 1908. The land was initially occupied by the Paiute Indians. Settlers then came in and took over much of it, relegating the natives to a reservation. How ironic is the world view that rages against the government but really isn’t talking about returning the land to the original inhabitants.
One settler amassed with his employer, Dr Hugh Glen, over 140,000 acres. He also restricted access to water to other fellow settlers and in fact was murdered in 1883 by one settler whose access to water he denied. Not a pretty story. Some of the land was sold to pay of company debts, and after being resold, nearly 65,000 acres was incorporated into the refuge in 1935. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P_Ranch)
In the late 1880’s bird populations were being decimated by plume hunters who used their feathers for hats or vanity wear, as I like to say in regards to fur coats. In 1908, photographers, William L Finley and Herman Bohlman noticed both the diversity of birds and the horrible effects of plume hunting. Finley successfully personally lobbied President Theodore Roosevelt for federal protection for the area. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malheur_National_Wildlife_Refuge) The William L Finley National Wildlife Refuge, also in Oregon, was named after him in 1964.
I find myself getting so upset and angry by the Malheur occupation. First I’m angry at the nerve of other people coming from out-of-state with their guns, taking over the buildings, government vehicles, blocking roads, and causing so much damage, not least of which is the emotional damage done to the community around Burns. This is an invasion. There were threats to people and their families who worked for BLM or USFWS, and there has been a huge financial cost to the county. I am also angered at this threat to a beautiful refuge and the wildlife that is there.
Private vs Public
If these protections were not in place, we would not have our system of: 58 national parks; 560 National Wildlife Refuges and 38 wetland management districts; 155 national forests and 20 grassland areas; and other state managed wildlife areas. These are open to people to enjoy, but more importantly to conserve natural resources and habitat for wildlife. How would these lands have fared had they not been under federal protection? Look around – how well have mining, privately owned logging companies, corporate farms served the land or the interests of the general population? In addition, there’s a wealth of information and recent discussion about how cattle grazing impacts environment and climate. Google it.
Loss of habitat results in loss of species.Just think what would happen if there were no birds and how that would affect the insect population. How would that affect crops or the spread of insect transmittable diseases…and so on? What about the disappearance of a predator that helped keep the rat population in control? It’s all about balance. The loss of one species can result in the overpopulation of another. There is a fine balance between prey and predator. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver is a novel that clearly explains this issue.
If there were no regulations, there would be no limitations on the type of chemicals that are used or other safety regulations that exist for a reason. Even with regulations, there are not enough controls and we’ve seen the impact of the chemicals on bees which are so important pollination and agriculture.
If resources are not managed, there is no sustainability. This affects us directly in regards to food and shelter. Would you really trust Ammon Bundy who represents his own interests or the interest of like-minded individuals over a government department that while cumbersome is still subject to the interests of many, including: legislators, citizens, and businesses?
Those are the self-interested reasons for preservation and conservation.
Being a photographer, and spending a lot of time observing animals, I am on the side of the wildlife. We do not occupy this land alone. We share it with animals and flora. We have already created an environmental imbalance that threatens not only our future, but the future of all living beings. We have used our lands and water as a huge trash can that we think we can keep pouring our waste into without consequences. Those consequences are catching up, and it is the poor and the animals who will suffer first.
These public lands are also important in that for many that is the only place that many will see life in a near natural state. The beauty and understanding that come from being in nature to those that are open to it can give one a profound respect for life, its vulnerability and its resilience. Nature can make us better human beings by connecting us to the the larger natural world that contains a multitude of life outside the “me.” It can teaches us that life is not ego-centric but all-encompassing.
Photographs taken at: Malheur National Wildlife Refuge and Harney County, William Finley National Wildlife Refuge, Yellowstone National Park, and Fern Ridge Wildlife Area (run by Oregon Dept. of Fish and Wildlife). belindagrebphotography.com
This year’s been wonderful for me as I’ve gotten the opportunity to visit and revisit a few of our nation’s treasures – our national parks. In October, I got to meet up with my dear friends and spend a bit of time in Arizona and Utah. While the weather wasn’t optimum I am still grateful not only to see my friends, but also to get a chance to see Grand Canyon since I haven’t seen this since I was a young girl. I will now have to go back to see it in better weather and different light.
For this series, I will just be posting more frequently with just a couple of images and fewer words.
It may be October and the kids are back in school, but there are still crowds, at least by the Visitor Center viewpoints. Walk around the rim, and you will find peace and quiet! Such a beautiful place, I was sadly disturbed to find cans thrown over the edge. Too steep to retrieve, but perhaps the park services has a long extension pole. Why come to see beauty and then leave such an ugly mark that is also dangerous to any wildlife? These parks, more than money or commercial items are our real treasures, a million years in the making.
The same image, in black and white. Black and white photography, to me, always seems to add a timeless quality to the image, highlighting texture, light and shadows.
This month has glided by so quickly, that I find myself thinking what have I done? My pace in taking photographs and processing them was definitely slower, and it was done purposefully to change up my day to day. While I can’t resist running and getting my camera for the splendid scenes of nature that come my way, I’ve also been trying to focus on finding a new way to get my work out there.
Now that I’m up might as well Fish – Love nature scenes like this, a mother mallard tried to grab a nap, but a couple of her offspring got up and started swimming around.
Bobbing for Fish – A closer view of the clarity of the water and momma mallard hard at work.
I’ve joined an artist collective that has a gallery down in Eugene, Oregon, called the New Zone Gallery. It’s great to be able to print out my work and see it hanging someplace and know that others are viewing it full size, the way it was meant to be seen, as opposed to 2-3 inches wide. It’s also wonderful, although a bit out of my comfort zone, to be able to meet new people and see how they are expressing themselves. There are many talented artists, including painters, ceramicists, basket weavers and sculptors, and you can see some of their work here: NewZoneGallery.org. The gallery has First Fridays and they are quite well attended. I’ve been there since early August, and just this last weekend was happy to hear that a framed and matted print of Feldspar and Ohanzee had been sold.
I’ve also been trying to get out and get more exercise. I find I’ve been taking far fewer hikes that tend to be shorter than in years past with the unpleasant but expected results of a weight gain and stiffer joints. Part of the reason is that I was getting tired of my usual haunts that are drier than usual due to the drought we’ve been having. One day I drove out to the coast and took the Hobbit Trail down to a beach. It wasn’t that long a trail, but it has a bit of charm and my dog, Maisie, got to play with a couple of other dogs whose paths we crossed. Afterwards, I also stopped by the Heceta Head Beach Area.
Two unexpected opportunities then arose back to back mid-month. The first was an invitation to join a fellow photographer on a trip to Glacier National Park at the end of this month as circumstances had required that her husband stay at home. My initial instinct, given the short notice, was to say no, as I would need to make arrangements for my dog, make my travel arrangements, find a way to budget the expenses. But It was so enticing and a trip I had wanted to make this year, but had put on the back burner since I went to the Grand Tetons again in March. Since I am trying to change my more cautious and shy nature, and live life in the moment, I decided to say Yes and figure out a way to make this happen. I am looking forward to sharing a photographic adventure with another photographer whose work I admire and experience the beauty of the park.
The Jewel at the End of the Trail – the McKenzie River flows underground due to a lava block until it reemerges here. There are falls at certain times of the year; otherwise the water comes up via a spring to this pond. Gorgeous color, I believe is due to minerals/lichen.
Forest Flow – The hike is not so much steep as the footing is uneven. Very popular with the University of Oregon students, it is more peaceful a hike during the late fall. This day was busy, and my dog remained leashed.
The upcoming trip, however, precipitated a desperate attempt to get into shape as some of the hiking opportunities in GNP seem to require that. I decided to hike up to Tamolitch Falls since I hadn’t been there in a few years. Although this is listed as easy, I find the trail to have uneven footing due to rocks and can be narrow in parts, especially when you have a dog and there is traffic on the trail. The hike was about six miles, and shared by hikers and bikers. I did fine, with my one heavy lens, a tripod and having to keep my dog on the leash (probably the hardest part since the trail was pretty busy that day). The forest is beautiful, but I have to say, I enjoy it more when there are fewer people.
Peace as a Pastime – Seen on a five mile walk that included big hills (which I hate) and air pollution from smoke that was blowing in from the fires 100 miles away. Upon reviewing this image on my computer screen, I was surprised to find the palomino horse had a very nasty scar on its blaze. While I’m unaware of the circumstances, I am glad it now seemed to have a beautiful pastoral setting and companionship.
The second unexpected opportunity was the chance to be interviewed by Jay Gaulard of IndustryDev.com. He had seen my Twitter feed and asked to interview me. His website explores web design and development as well photography. I enjoyed being interviewed and if you are interested, you can find the interview here: Interview.
All in all, this has been a month where my usual habits have been broken up, and that is probably a good thing, since I can sometimes get chained to my habits. Although I feel a bit “less productive” not sticking to my normal process, the slowdown has given me time to review some past archived raw material and find some gems (maybe I’ll show some in a future post); make time for some much needed exercise; and leave myself open to opportunities, both looked for (artist collective) and unexpected (GNP trip and interview).
Young Raptor – formerly identified as Peregrine, now surmised to be either a Merlin Falcon or a Red Shouldered Hawk juvenile.
I’ll leave you with two unexpected photographic finds: the first is a painted lady butterfly (I hadn’t seen one before and didn’t know they were in my area) and this raptor, either a Merlin Falcon or a juvenile Red Shouldered Hawk.
One evening my dog went to investigate a rustling in the bushes and a bird flew out and perched overhead. At first I thought it was a crow flying towards me because of its size, but the coloring confused me as did the dark eyes. My phone app suggested a Peregrine, but a twitter follower of mine didn’t think that was right. After sending the image to the Lane County Audubon society, the helpful members were also unsure except that it’s not a Peregrine. However, whatever it is, it was to me an example of one of life’s treasures that catches you off guard and gives you one of those special moments not to be forgotten.
It’s funny when you come back from a trip with tons of images, there are some you just can’t wait to start processing. But on the second or third round, it’s always the case that there’s one that was overlooked and you wonder how in the world you missed it. This one of an egret landing on a pond is such a photograph for me. I love the grace of the egret coming in for a landing and the background colors of the reeds and water.
Early Evening on the Chincoteague Bay
This second photograph was taken just about sunset, as I looked eastward from the boat we were in. The light was just so beautiful around that time and this image lent itself to a subtle watercolor effect. As I often do, here I worked with layers and masks to blend in an effect for more control and artistry. Westward the sky was more dramatic but to me visually less appealing. This was looking towards Assateague Island, and I like the one post sticking out of the water and the trees in the background.
The next two photos use textures. In the case of the mallard hybrid, the background was just sort of light as I had spot focused on him to bring out the details of his feather. Another thing I enjoy is researching the photos for more information. For instance in this case, I tried to identify the duck as he really didn’t look like a mallard. I found that domestic ducks and cross breeds often result from pairings with a male mallard as the iridescent green head is apparently quite appealing to female ducks of all species. I used one of the fabulous textures by Jerry Jones.
In the final photograph for this week’s post, I have taken many photographs of this filly as she was young and beautiful of course! 🙂 I was shooting with a telephoto since we were in a boat and at a distance. I cropped one of the more sharper images to use as just a head shot, and used a free beautiful texture found on Deviant Art and created by env1ro. I loved the bold colors in this texture. Generally when I use free textures, I do try and change them up by using more than one, or another exposure to blend in, and for the Portrait of a Filly I did add another texture in but the primary texture was so gorgeous, the changes were pretty subtle. For the mallard, the texutre was such a perfect background for the duck’s coloring, I also didn’t add in another texture. For me this is an exception rather than a rule. Generally I will try to personalize it. See my note on how I usually do to that.
Note: For other textures or exposures to blend in, think blurred landscapes, flora, flowers, clouds. Or shoot texture found in metal, rocks, etc. Or try your hand at using the various brushes in Photoshop to create your own. Then experiment with the blends or use the masks to just brink in part of an effect.
My trip to Pryor Mountain to see the wild horses back in September is one that has affected me deeply and the effects are still being felt. It was a great privilege to see the beauty of these horses with both their strength and fragility, their freedom and their lives subject to the elements in a natural habitat, living free, but it’s also been an ongoing lesson and blessing to think about what I saw, to review my photographs and think about the social world of these herds, the family lines and their history (history being a world we mostly tend to associate with humans).
My trip last year to see some of the wild horses in the Oregon herds, was one in which I primarily felt the beauty of these creatures living as they were meant to live, but this trip was different in that I was exposed more to the relationship of the horses to one another and the social structure of herds and bands. I was intrigued enough by some of the stories to watch the documentary, Cloud: Wild Stallion of the Rockies (available from Netflix), about a harem stallion from Pryor Mountain mustang herd first encountered by Ginger Kathrens as a newborn foal and to read some of the blogs of the people who feel connected to these wild creatures, like Sandra Elmore’s blog – http://wildinthepryors.com/.
I can feel how easily it would be to become obsessed by these horses. Already, in processing some of my photographs, I feel my heart being pulled in every which way by the tenderness that is displayed between certain of the horses, or by the individual personalities of the various foals or horses and how they seem just as complex as the personalities of humans. When I read the blogs, I see how some of the people who watch over this herd develop a special connection to a certain horse, and then worry about its survival through the winter, sometimes to have their hearts broken when something does happen. I am touched and moved.
It is documented that the wild horses have been living in the Pryor Mountains of Wyoming and Montana or what Ginger Kathrens referred to as the Arrowhead Mountains by the early 1700s and perhaps even before. DNA testing has proven that they are descended from the Colonial Spanish mustangs. The herd is genetically diverse and has low inbreeding, two traits that make the herd very important. The horses tend to be on the smaller side, 13 to 15 hands and between 700-800 pounds.
What amazed me, upon first seeing these horses was the wide range of colors, from Cloud’s nearly white, to black, with grullos, duns, bays, chestnut and roans inbetween. The duns are especially interesting with primitive markings on their withers and stripes like zebra markings) on their legs. See the photograph of Odakota and look carefully at his hind leg.
Two of the foals that seemed very personable were Ohanzee (above) and Odakota (to the right) in very different ways. Odakota was curious but shy. He approached timidly, 1 step forward, 1 step back. Ohanzee is more confident and is the son of Cloud and Feldspar. When we first encountered him, he was grazing, then went to cuddle with his mother. After we had moved to another ridge, where the watering hole was and where there were many small bands of horses, I noticed later when reviewing my photographs that Cloud’s band had come over and Ohanzee was approaching Nimbus, his sister.
Nimbus was another horse I was fascinated with as she is a young filly, born in 2013, and has already departed from Cloud’s band and is in a band with Knight, a young stallion and two other bachelor stallions – a somewhat dangerous grouping for her. She is extremely beautiful, and her band definitely has the lively raw energy of the young, evident from the moment they first came into sight.
After watching the documentary and reading the blogs, I realized to a greater extent the obstacles these horses face, especially when they are young. One year, as our guide, Steve Cerroni, mentioned, many foals were killed by mountain lions. Eventually they had to relocate some of the mountain lions.
Also, some foals are just born weak. The documentary showed one disturbing incident where two bands were in the same area. The mother of the weak foal that had collapsed moved away when the more dominant stallion, Looking Glass and his band came near. The mares of Looking Glass’s band sniffed the foal and seemed to be concerned about it, but Looking Glass came up and killed the foal in a very horrible and aggressive manner despite the mares attempt to intervene, a reminder that cruelty does exist in the animal world as well. Perhaps the stallion sensed the foal’s imminent death or perhaps he was killing a rival’s offspring – we won’t ever know, but life in the wild is just not all Pretty Ponies.
Another danger is that during the round-up that do occur every few years, there is the danger of the young horses being run to death or getting crushed. Flint, also known as Blue Moon, did become lame one year and it was feared that he would not make it during that winter, but he is now a harem stallion. Lightening is also a problem, sometimes killing a whole band of horses at once.
There are also small bands of bachelor stallions. These are colts that get kicked out of the band at a certain age. They hang around with other males until they reach a time where they try to form their own band by stealing another mare from a harem stallion. What’s also sad, but natural, is that eventually the older stallions get their bands stolen and end up as a bachelor stallion again.
One thing that I’ve been thinking about is the history and continuity of these animals. Normally in an ideal domestic setting animals are neutered for the purpose of maintaining populations and not bringing unwanted animals into a situation where they will be neglected or abused. But in the wild, on my day’s tour, I see and photograph these horses, then later as I look back at a blog, I am able to see that horse as a colt, or see references to the horse’s parents or grandparents. I read about Cabaret’s band that is killed in the deep snows of 2011 and find that that will be the end of the line as all the offspring are dead. I think not of just one life, in the way I think of one of my animal companions, but of a line and legacy. Cloud, not 19 years old and made famous by three wonderful documentaries, has a mother who is 23 years old and still alive. Hopefully in 23 years, his offspring, Nimbus and Ohanzee will still be out there on the mountain.
In watching the documentary and reading the blogs, one phrase stays with me – living free, and also dying free. Ginger Kathrens remarked that she had been raised with horses, but when it came time to make the documentary found she knew very little about wild horses. What do we know about living free, I wonder? We think we are free, especially if we are Americans, but are we? The Merriam-Webster gives a number of definitions, but the one I most associate with the idea of “freedom” or the state of being “free” is: “not determined by anything beyond its own nature or being: choosing or capable of choosing for itself.”
Now a wild mare is not always “free” in that sense as the stallions tend to control their bands. Although perhaps she is according to her own nature. I’m reminded by one of the stories of a Pryor Mustang mare, named Blue Sioux whom Cloud stole from his brother, Red Raven. Allowed to go off by herself to foal, she made her way instead back to Red Raven. However now, she belongs to a younger stallion, Irial.
Nimbus, No. 1
One difference, is that in the wild, horses are not generally pulled away from their families, and most of the time they are not “serving” anyone else. They are living according to their own nature, not saddled, not bridled, free to run (within the limits of 36000 acres now fenced in some places) and also to deal with the harsh realities of survival.
As humans, if we look carefully at our own lives we’ll find that we’ve given up some of our freedom. We might compromise our values in order to make a living. We might accept treatment that demeans us, so that we have a certain level of security. For some, that may be easier than for others. For myself, I think it’s always been a bit harder to conform or take orders or agree or to follow the prescribed agenda that is supposed to make me “better!”
Maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe it’s being from a mixed race that made me more unnerved and irritated by the ideal of having been told as a child that I wasn’t good enough but lately I’m finding it harder and harder to do things that I don’t find myself believing in and I’m growing more resistant to the suggestion that I need to accept certain things because I’m getting older, because the economy is shaky, because, because because of any number of reasons.
I think it’s because I’m getting older that it’s become more important to me to think that with this life I’ve done some of the things I wanted to do, and that I’ve attempted to live my life consciously and freely.
Now I’m not immune to fear. I worry about how long my savings will last, or what will happen if I get sick. Like the wild horses, I’ve followed the Judas horse more than once to that narrow corral. There’s a meal, the comfort of a crowd, the knowledge that you can give up risk and put yourself into the hands of others.
You know what? – I’m old enough to be really tired of the threat of a lash of the whip, albeit a symbolic one. I’m more worried about living a life that has no meaning or worse yet supporting something I find repellant. Each moment is more precious when you start to realize, really realize, they’re limited. Too precious to spend on things that make you feel rotten or dead or confined to a box.
When Ginger Kathrens or the Pryor Mustang bloggers refer to a horse as living free and dying free on the mountain, it speaks to a certain richness of life that boggles the civilized mind. Certainly not a romanticized, easy life, but defnitely an authentic one. Now I may not be able to join those wild and free mustangs on that mountain, but I certainly can appreciate them and instill a bit of that spirit in myself.
I can’t believe it’s been over two months since I last posted. A lot has transpired. I did take my scheduled vacation to Los Angeles. It was wonderful to see my old friends. There’s nothing so comforting as seeing people who’ve known you since you were arrogant with youth and still care for you through all the intervening phases. It’s amazing how you can slip right in to a relaxed feeling of trust with good friends despite not having seen each other for a year or years as with one good friend I met up with. Also, since I grew up in Los Angeles, there was a sense of connection with place. Since I usually do nature photography, it was interesting to take some photographs that were not in my comfort zone, architectural shots or city shots. Strangely enough, this one of Los Angeles Union Station sold shortly after I uploaded it.
My dog, Maisie’s surgery took place upon my return and the worry about it and her sarcoma had cast a shadow over my trip. The surgery went fairly well although I felt frustrated as the pathology reports were non-conclusive as to exact type of sarcoma and whether the full tumor had been excised. I realized that after paying for the pathology report, I expected it to be definitive. Something, life can’t always give us. So it will be a wait and see game. Her energy has been very good throughout, and the hardest part of her recovery was the cone head and keeping her from licking the wound when I let her have a reprieve from the cone head, which was too often as I found out.
I have switched her to a completely raw diet. While expensive, I was pleased that she really seems to like it. The first time I gave it to her, she wolfed it down, and then immediately threw it up. I thought – oh no, that’s about $5 on the carpet. Fortunately, she just had to learn to eat it more slowly! I also have her on the I’m Yunnity mushrooms, which I mix in her food, and I also give her raw goat’s milk in the mornings. She is maintaining a really healthy weight and has lots of energy. The wound has now healed and I am hoping that the raw diet and mushrooms will prevent the cancer from reoccurring.
For the last two months until just recently, my focus has not really been on my photography, but on just getting myself through this time. I was trying to stay positive when I was really feeling weighted down and scared by the sense of loss. I felt overwhelmed by the expenses and the uncertainty. But I just plodded through trying to keep the faith and let myself operate on automatic, emotionally.
This was a new reaction for me. I steered myself away from brooding or getting really actively depressed, I let myself tune out in a way and focused on just doing what I could do, like learning about the diet and reading to take my mind away from my worry. I definitely did not feel connected to myself at this time (felt like I was numbing myself out), but at least I felt like I held my despair at bay.
At any rate, I’ve gotten through that period. While in the middle of it though, and upset by what seemed to me my dwindling world, a snub by a local person I had considered a friend, and sadness at being separated from my long-time friends, I did decide to go ahead and take a trip to Wyoming (something I had wanted to do this summer but it hadn’t looked like it was going to happen).
I’ve been tired of the same old places, the same routine, the oppressiveness of the same old, same old. I knew I needed to feed myself, spiritually, and the trip, despite being last minute and kind of chaotically planned, was good in that it allowed me to focus and reignite my passion for photography, and filled me awe about the beauty of animals and nature. I want to stop forcing myself to accept less. I’ve been operating in this zen, less is enough mode, and on one hand, yes, I’m don’t want to be overly needy or greedy. But on the other hand, I don’t want to have to settle for less. What’s the point of that type of life?
I want to start doing the things that make me feel alive and connected. And I want to stop the things (people or situations) that make me feel depleted, whether that be friendships or job. That’s my breakthrough. Now to make it happen. That’s the hard part. Stay tuned.
I will talk more about my trip in my next post, but one of the highlights was seeing the Pryor Mountain Mustangs, and getting a day in Yellowstone National Park (not enough time) and a few days in Grand Tetons. Until then, I wish you the best. Here’s a photo preview!
Musings with Camera in Hand 